Be Your Own Champion: How to Practice Self-Advocacy at the Doctor’s Office
Optometrists know a lot—often an overwhelming amount—about the eye, the human body, and its health. This depth of knowledge can sometimes make us feel like our eye doctors are distant. Like untouchable figures too busy or too intellectual to engage with us on a personal level. This perception is not uncommon among most patients, and speaks to a larger issue in our relationships with doctors when it comes to making patients feel heard, valued, and involved in their care.
Why do so many of us feel intimidated by doctors? Many quite friendly, yet during appointments, we often struggle to feel comfortable or empowered. This is not an attempt to rehabilitate the reputations of doctors, but rather a call to action: be your own champion when you're in that doctor's chair. But what does self-advocacy look like in a healthcare setting— and is it truly necessary?
Healthcare Should Feel Welcoming, So Why Doesn’t It?
Self-advocacy is not just helpful, but essential for navigating America’s healthcare system. That means asking questions, requesting explanations, and ensuring you're an active participant in your own care. After all, the appointment is for you. You booked it to ensure your health and well-being, so make sure you're not just a passive participant.
I have to admit, going to the eye doctor didn’t always intimidate me. As a child, I actually looked forward to eye exams because new glasses were probably in my future. But as I grew older, my relationship with visits to the eye doctor became more complicated. My prescriptions were changing, I had to navigate insurance, and I had to think seriously about genetic diseases in my family. When I was younger, it felt like my doctor and my mom had everything under control—I just had to show up. But as an adult, I was responsible for understanding my own health and navigating its complexities. That realization brought with it a sense of anxiety and fear. I started feeling intimidated by the very people who were supposed to help me.
As a Black woman, this feeling was magnified. Too often, I left appointments feeling like my doctors were not really there. They were polite, but there was a disconnect. Conversations felt shallow, my symptoms seemed overlooked, and I walked out of the office unsure if I had been heard. The sterile environment, the quick exits, and the clinical detachment made me feel like a test subject rather than a person receiving care.
I’m not alone in this experience. Research shows that Black patients, particularly Black women, are often treated with less empathy and receive less thorough care compared to our White counterparts. We are more likely to have our pain dismissed, and less likely to be listened to during appointments.
Recently, something shifted for me. I went to my annual eye appointment, this time at an eyewear boutique, and for the first time, I felt a genuine connection with my optometrist, who was a Black woman. From the moment I entered the office, the atmosphere felt different. I was welcomed warmly, and asked thoughtful questions that made me feel like my presence there mattered. Each step of the exam was explained to me in detail, with a focus on my comfort and understanding. Even when it came to the dreaded eye pressure machine, I was treated with patience and respect.
Because I felt engaged, I felt empowered to ask questions. Eagerly passionate, she demonstrated to me (on a rather large poster of the eye’s anatomy) where the machines were monitoring. To my surprise, she informed me of a slight enlargement in my optical nerve. Common for those with a family history of glaucoma, an enlarged or inflamed optic nerve can result in sudden vision impairment. Of course, learning this information was a shock and brought back the fear I thought I’d recently overcome. Like the supernova of a doctor she was, she assured me that the slight enlargement needs annual or biannual monitoring, until then we won’t worry unless totally necessary. She urged me to asked more questions about my family medical history and to take care of my eyes in the meantime.
This appointment showed me what healthcare should feel like—and why self-advocacy is critical. When we ask questions, request explanations, and insist on being part of the conversation, we ensure that our needs, both physical and emotional, are met. My optometrist included me in my own care in a way that I hadn’t experienced before, and it was a reminder that I deserve that level of attention and respect in every healthcare setting.
How to be Your Own Medical Champion
So, how can you advocate for yourself at your next doctor's appointment? Start by remembering that you have the right to ask questions and understand what’s happening with your health. Here are a few practical tips to help you become your own champion:
Prepare in advance: Write down your symptoms, questions, and concerns before your appointment. This ensures you don’t forget anything important during the often-short time with the doctor.
Speak up: If something doesn’t feel right or you don’t understand an aspect of your care, say so. It’s your body, and you deserve to understand every step of the process.
Ask for explanations: Don’t hesitate to ask your doctor to explain procedures, diagnoses, or treatment options in plain language. If something is unclear, ask for clarification until it makes sense to you.
Take someone with you: If you’re nervous about speaking up or processing information, bring a friend or family member to your appointment. They can ask questions or take notes, ensuring that all your concerns are addressed.
Trust your instincts: If you feel unheard or dismissed, don’t be afraid to seek a second opinion. You deserve to work with a healthcare provider who values your input and makes you feel like an equal partner in your care.
Remember, the doctor’s office is a space where you should feel empowered and involved in your health journey. Self-advocacy is not just a skill; it’s a necessity in ensuring that you receive the care you deserve.
Be your own champion—because your health and relationship with your doctor depends on it.
